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Blogs / On the Table / January 2010 / Forget Leno. Forget Conan. Here's a character who's way funnier.

Forget Leno. Forget Conan. Here's a character who's way funnier.

Yesterday, while everyone (and I do mean you, Andrew) was obsessing over the Late Night TV War, and which particular half hour of their lives they were going to devote to which inane talk show, and whether The Jaw or The Forehead was better at interviewing celebrity shills, another, vastly more intriguing character was making icky news.

I’m referring of course to the Sea Slug. No big jaw, no big forehead, no bad jokes.

Still, a slightly disgusting creature.

But the green Sea Slug, it was announced yesterday, is actually half-plant, half-animal. Somehow it has stolen some genes from all the algae it eats, and now it’s the only animal to produce chlorophyll, and it can actually photosynthesize sunlight to produce energy, meaning it doesn’t necessarily have to eat to live.

Clearly, it’s not that huge a leap from Sea Slug to late-night TV host, so the discovery has great human implications.

First, someone’s going to make millions off The Photosynthesis Diet. (Kirstie Alley's comeback moment?)

And then—let the debate begin—where does the Sea Slug belong on the food pyramid? Could children being admonished to eat their green vegetables now be facing a Sea Slug next to their chicken nuggets?

And would that be worse or better than boiled kale?