The line's already forming in Newpark for the 38th annual Park City Ski Swap (8 p.m. Friday, Nov. 5). More gear, more steeze and more of a junk show than most of the Lower 48's swaps combined.

It always goes better at the swap if you can get in (hint, if you jump in line to the Basin Recreation Field House after 6 p.m. Friday, fuggedaboutit) grab your gear, get in line and get out.

You linger, you lose.

Learned my lesson the hard way last year when I found myself schlepping four jackets, a pair of Pontoons and a Roots beret around for close to an hour before realizing none of the stuff (beret notwithstanding) was on my 'must-have' list.

This year, I'm going prepared.

Here are five items I can't live without. And if they're not there, at least I got to pound a couple PBRs in line.

They are:

5) Bogner anything

Bogner outerwear categorically falls under my 'Mustache Theory'. The Mustache Theory is that all 'staches start out as kind of a joke. Eventually, people stop laughing and then you can't live without it. It becomes who you are. Bogner is funny and expensive, but I'm thinking it's time to be the beneficiary of an emptied-out Deer Valley walk-in. My friends will laugh at the Bogner at first, eventually,  it'll be who I am.

4) Pair of Moment Comis

Because they're made in Reno. Because they're 1,204,393 underfoot. Because Moment gave out PBR tall boys at OR last year. Because freestyle hotties Shelly Robertson (pictured) and Shannon Bahrke ride for 'em.

3) Lib Skate Banana

Because it's been too many years since I've had fun snowboarding and the Skate Banana should go well with my Bogner jumpsuit.

2) Pair of old-school Olins

Because I'm doing the Cushing Crossing this year and endangered skis must be ridden; not turned into Adirondack chairs.

1) These

Because skiing is a terrible sport. It requires clear-cutting, using millions of gallons of water to 'make snow', hundreds of thousands of kilowatt hours to power a chairlift for a day and, lets not get into the whole fossil fuel thing (airplanes, SUVs, snow machines ...not to mention how those skis are manufactured in China). These boots epitomize the awesomeness of skiing.