Even the hippest stand-up comedians don't get Utah.

I caught Greg Fitzsimmons, a regular on David Letterman, Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Kimmel, at Wise Guys comedy club recently. He's a guy who pushes humor to the edge—riffing, for instance, on the aesthetic difference between man and woman masturbation—but he was scanalized to learn that Salt Lake City is not overwhelmingly Mitt Romney turf.

While grasping for local political material, Fitzsimmons, who lives in Los Angeles, asked the audience at Trolley Square, "You guys probably don't like jokes about Mitt Romney."

When the booing and cat calls died down—an obviously perplexed Fitzsimmons called for a hand count of Romney supporters.

None.

"But this is Salt Lake City," he marveled.

Then someone in the back yelled, "We're drinkers!"

"Oh, yeah...," Fitzsimmons said as the light bulb went on.

Gauging by Fitzsimmons and the New York-based standup Jamie Lee who opened for him, Salt Lake looks something like this:

— Everyone hikes and skies—all the time.

— It's hard to breath and painfully dry.

— People, nevertheless, manage to stay preternaturally youthful looking: "Even this heroin junky over here looks younger than me," Fitzsimmons said, referring to a self-described recovering addict.

— We eat at funny sounding restaurants. Lee said the deskman at her hotel suggested she grab a bite at Kneaders, "Do I look kneedy?" she asked the audience. (Yeah, I know, not too funny.)

— A drunken cell of Democrats regularly meets in the back room of an obscure comedy club.