It doesn't matter if you think Mother's Day is a fake-o holiday dreamed up by Madison Avenut to sell more stuff in a slow season.

It doesn't matter if your mother is an eccentric ex-hippie or avant-garde artist. HuffPost's lists of suggested gifts for eccentric mothers is totally bogus. Your mother doesn't want a shark sleeping bag.

And any notion of a useful gift is a bad idea. (My stepson once suggested he give his mother a broom for Mother's Day—wrong on so many levels.)

On Mother's Day, mothers want to feel special, be pampered, give in to their inner corniness and get misty-eyed. We've already posted a list of great places to take your mother for the inevitable brunch. Check it out. And don't forget Wild Grape Bistro's Mother's Day events, brunch and dinner. Call 801-746-5565.

But the mother lode of Mother's Day in Salt Lake City has to be Grand America. This hotel with its quasi-European curlicues, towering flowers  and shiny grandeur is a temple for the Hallmark holiday celebration, delivering all the queenly pomp and specialness required for the occasion.

On Mother's Day, The Grand's famous brunch moves to the ballroom: Traditional brunch favorites, plus fresh seafood, fruits, salads, sushi, roasts, and an extravagant dessert buffet featuring creations from our pastry team. The children's buffet will feature selections just for kids! The Courtyard will feature a potting station for children to decorate a pot and plant a special flower for their moms. 10:00 am - 2:30 pm, $59.00 Adults | $29.50 Children (5–12) plus tax and gratuity (Children 4 and under complimentary.)

Reservations are required; call 801-258-6707.

Or, take your mom to tea.

Traditional English tea service including an assortment of finger sandwiches, scones served with clotted cream and berry jam, selection of tea pastries, and premium loose leaf teas including caffeine-free selections and hot chocolate. Cocktail service, thank god, is also available and you fudge on this one, because it's offered on three dates: Saturday, May 3, Sunday, May 4, Saturday, May 10. Seatings at noon and 3:00 p.m. $25.00 per person, plus tax and gratuity

Reservations required and available by phone at 801-258-6707.

Finally, Grand America is one-stop shopping for events and gifts: Give Mom a day at the spa.

Give her a weekend getaway. Give her flowers. Give her pastel macarons and petits-fours.

Go here and start clicking: grandamerica.com/promotions/mothers-day