Best Great White Father
Orrin Hatch talks down to tribes.
Yes, Orrin actually said Indians “don’t fully understand” what was at stake in the Bears Ears controversy. They were being “manipulated,” Orrin said, stopping short of accusing liberals of bribing them with glass beads and iron tomahawks. Indian leaders said it’s “blatantly racist” for Hatch to think “Native Americans do not have a will of their own, or … their position is influenced by a non-native person.”
This is same Great White Father in Washington who is insisting on picking his replacement. At 83 (that’s only 34 in tortoise years—which Orrin has begun to resemble), we had thought he was going to step aside. With all due respect, Orrin, the serfs, like the Native Americans, want to make their own decisions.
Best Reason to Block Dumb Abortion Laws
Total Fail of Fetus Pain-killer Law
Utah enacted last year a first-in-the-nation law, based on no science, requiring that fetuses receive anesthesia before abortions starting at 20 weeks. The law changed nothing because doctors—nor even the state—can figure out how to comply with it. One doctor said: “I guess I’m breaking the law, but I don’t know how to not break it because no one would tell me.”
Best Goof on the Legislature’s Porn Public-Health Crisis
SL County Health Department’s April-Fools gag
The Health Department announced on social media that it was offering a “porn vaccine” that attacks “porn-addicted” cells and gives an “80-percent immunity against porn after the first dose.” Of course, the real joke was the 2016 Utah Legislature’s resolution that pornography is a public health crisis, followed by a 2017 law allowing victims to sue porn websites for mental-health damages.
Most gutless Response to Rowdy Town Halls
Mia Love’s Intimate Secret Salons
Rep. Mia Love says she will only do tele-town halls, with the exception of face-to-face meetings with five constituents or less, with no recording devices or media allowed. Progressive five-person squads are already signing up to take turns holding the speaking stick.
Best Boost to Colorado Tourism
Utah Legislature Runs Amok
First the Legislature made an empty gesture (aka “resolution”) asking Trump to overturn the recent Bears Ears National Monument designation and drastically reduce the size of Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument. It did have one concrete effect—it drove away the Outdoor Retailers shows that have brought 40,000 people and $100 million annually to Utah for the last 20 years. Then, in an attempt to remove the ludicrous Zion Curtain bar requirement, the Legislature ends up adding a “Zion Moat” and a “Zion Fence” to the law and jacking up the price of booze. And, if the message to conventioneers and tourists that Utah is a glorified Sunday school weren’t clear enough, the Lege lowers the blood-alcohol level to .05 percent, the lowest in the nation.
Best Political Suicide
One question applies to everything the mayor has done on the homeless crisis: “What was she thinking?” The mayor selected four sites for homeless shelters without public input, saying it was not a matter for debate. Then when Sugar House exploded with rage, Jackie withdrew two sites. Later, it emerges that Jackie cut a deal with UTA and The Gateway’s management to erect a fence along the 200 South Trax line to keep homeless jaywalkers “safe”—and out of The Gateway.
See more inside our 2017 July/August Issue