Thursday, December 3, 2020

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Mating While Mormon

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When Barbie Berg moved to Salt Lake City, she expected a different dating scene than she was used to as a Colorado Mormon. What the 35-year-old didn’t was how different: “The first week I moved here, I remember thinking I had stumbled into the land of models who happened to be LDS,” recalls Berg. “The women were tall, strikingly beautiful and incredibly put together.”

And there were so many of them. Berg was assigned to worship at a congregation of more than 800 members—all of them single. Her ward, made up exclusively of unmarried men and women ages 31 to 35, reflects the demographics of Utah Mormons: a ratio of two women to every man, according to a Trinity College study.

This can create a “kid in a candy store” mentality for the men of Mormonism, as Brock, a divorced LDS male in his 30’s (who asked for a pseudonym), described it. With so many single women in the faith, Brock says each potential mate he meets seems better than the last. When asked what “better” meant—Prettier? Younger? More spiritual?—Brock answers: “Sure.”

It’s a phenomenon. Berg has experienced firsthand: “Men I met couldn’t concentrate on making a connection with one woman because everywhere he looked there were different options. I’ve had multiple experiences where a guy would approach me to chat, and within 30 seconds, he was breaking eye contact and looking over my shoulder every time someone new came in. It was like the entire singles scene had been taken over by FOMO [Fear of Mission Out] syndrome.”

Though some Mormon women cast a net outside of their church’s dating pool, a partner in the faith is still a priority for the majority of Latter-Day Saints. To tip the odds in their favor, some women step up their dating game by calling in reinforcements. LDS Matchmaker, a Salt Lake dating service with a deep Rolodex of vetted, marriage-minded LDS singles, has seen an increase in the number of clients taking advantage of services such as relationship coaching or makeovers from a team of stylists.

“We think of ourselves as a “personal trainer” when it comes to love,” says Kristin Sokol of LDS Matchmaker. “It’s typical for someone to hire a trainer to help them overcome the odds when it comes to health, fitness and weightloss. We think it makes sense to hire an expert to help overcome whatever odds you feel are stacked against you when it comes to dating and finding love.”

But all the coaching and hairspray in the world can’t overcome a woman’s biggest obstacle in securing a dinner invitation: the guy’s cold feet.

“Dating itself is not horribly complicated, but people overthink it. They think a date is more than a date. Men get scared to ask women out because they are worried the girl will assume they are automatically getting married,” Berg says, laughing. “A first date should be just that—a first date!”

Though the two-to-one ratio creates a certain scarcity in the Salt Lake dating scene, Berg says there’s little, if any, hostility between LDS women: “I am not a competitive dater. My goal when I go out is not to get the most men or to look better than other women. Seriously, the majority of single women I have met here are gorgeous, intelligent, have great careers and are well-educated. If guys need more than that to be interested, they might need to get their heads examined.”

Dating has always been hard. Dating in the digital world is insane. Read more about #dating here:

Illustrations by Savvy Jensen

Mark your calendars! Our 12 Days of Giveaways starts Dec 1! ✨⁠

With giveaway items from local businesses such as @gotbeautydotcom, @woodhouseholladay, @cactusandtropicals and many more, you won't want to miss this! 🎁⁠

Here's the idea: ⁠
⭐ Tag a friend on our giveaway post who you believe should win the giveaway item! The person you tag is then entered to win! (Friends can tag one another) 💑⁠
⭐ Be sure to follow us (@slmag) and the giveaway provider on insta! ⁠
⭐ Entry deadline will be at 10PM. The winner will be announced at 11:59PM and a new prize will be posted at 8AM each day. ⁠

#giveaways #win #contest #christmas #gift #holiday #12daysofgiveaways #slmag
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A holiday letter from our editor, Mary Brown Malouf:⁠

"It’s the season for celebration. And let’s face it—it was a bad year for cheer. Nevertheless, though masked and socially distanced, we will join together again this year in love and joy for one another. We will clink glasses, feast, toast to a better future and enjoy what we have, taking care to live in the moment. Remembering the good times in the midst of the not-so-good and pledging to support one another."⁠

Have a wonderful and safe holiday. Cheers! 🥂⁠

To read the full letter, go to the link in bio.
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Happy Friday! We all know the best way to celebrate the end of the week is with a cocktail 😉! ⁠

🍸 And our next highlighted cocktail is the perfect way to start your weekend. @alibislc's 'Far From The Tree' by Clif Reagle:⁠

1.5 oz. @shdistillery Bourbon⁠
1.5 oz. Utah Honey and Akane Apple Shrub⁠
.25+ oz. @waterpocketdistillery Snow Angel .25 oz. lemon juice⁠
Barspoon of simple syrup⁠
2 dashes Regans Orange Bitters⁠
Combine in shaker over ice, shake and strain into a footed glass. Serve with dried apple garnish.⁠

“My goal for this drink was to make it with as many local ingredients as possible,” says Reagle, “and seeing as the farm scene is pretty quiet in November I decided to go with a classic method of fruit preservation: the shrub.⁠

VOTE VOTE VOTE AWAY! Grab our magazine, grab a cocktail (or make it yourself) and get voting. Cheers!🥂⁠

Link in bio to vote and learn more about Clif Reagle!
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Yes. Thanksgiving is going to be different this year. So instead of stressing out to prepare a meal, help support local restaurants who need our love this Thanksgiving. 🦃⁠

Restaurants are doing what they can to make this Thanksgiving seamless for us. With offerings of curbside pick up, meal kits, and even delivery, ordering out this Thanksgiving seems like a no-brainer.⁠

Oh and did we mention no family-sized mess to clean up afterward? That’s a win-win in our book. 😉 Check the link in bio for full list of restaurants. 🍽️
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Don't forget to vote in our 2020 Cocktail Contest!! 🍸🍹🥂⁠

Our next highlighted coktail is @thecopperonion's “Not Today Satan” by Frank Mealy:⁠

1.5 oz. @shdistillery Bourbon⁠
1.5 oz. pear shrub (Champagne Vinegar/Earl Grey simple 2:1)⁠
.75 oz. lemon juice⁠
Preheat glass with hot water. Mix ingredients, pour into the hot glass, top with hot water and garnish with cinnamon stick, star anise and dried pear.⁠

Mealy is a full-time bartender for the Copper Group. “Inspiration for this drink came from the expectation that we’re going to be running our outdoor patio season longer because of Covid.” People are more comfortable sitting outside, Mealy says, “So I wanted to make a hot drink for the colder months.”⁠

VOTE VOTE VOTE AWAY! Grab our magazine, grab a cocktail (or make it yourself) and get voting. Cheers!🥂⁠

Link in bio to vote and learn more about Frank Mealy!
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Our 2020 Cocktail Contest is live!! 🍸🍹🥂

We’ll be highlighting our cocktail contest contestants throughout the next few weeks. Starting with @takashi_slc’s “Red Dirt Garden” by Crystal Daniels:

- 1.5 oz. Amaro Bilaro
- .5 oz. @shdistillery Barrel-strength Rye
- .75 oz. Lemon juice
- 1 oz. Red rice orgeat made with @redbuttegarden botanicals
- Pinch of Jacobsen Salt from @caputosmarket

Daniels garnished her cocktail with banana leaves and an edible begonia- if you can’t get the begonia, another colorful edible bloom will do. 🌺

VOTE VOTE VOTE AWAY! Grab our magazine, grab a cocktail (or make it yourself) and get voting. Cheers!🥂

Link in bio to vote!
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Did you know that the first woman to cast a ballot in the United States voted right here in Salt Lake City?

In 1870, on her way to work as a schoolteacher, Seraph Young stopped by SLC’s old City Hall—right across from the Capitol—and made history as the first woman to vote under a women's equal suffrage law.

Like many of us, Young voted early in that election simply because she had to get to work on time. Her story reminds us of the power ordinary people have to make history. Now, get out and vote!

Photo: Ron Fox
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Our November-December issue is on stands now!!⁠

And our annual cocktail contest is open for voting! Take all precautions, support our hardworking hospitality community and remember to smile. 🍹🍸🧉⁠

Pick up a magazine, grab a cocktail and vote! Happy November, everyone! ⁠

Check the link in bio to vote.
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Trick or treat? COVID cases are getting scary.

111K confirmed cases and 601 deaths in Utah.

Link in bio for a little op-ed on face masks. 😷
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