So you wanna start a tech company? Before you start doing all the computer stuff and algorithms and codey things, you’ll need a name. A lot of people don’t know this, but Mark Zuckerberg came up with the name Facebook from a dream he had about stabbing a girl who wouldn’t go out with him. True story. So what’s the lesson here? In order to get back at your ex, you have to think up a catchy name. Something friendly, cheery and welcoming that doesn’t scream privacy invasion on a global scale. Nothing Russian sounding, for sure.
So now that we’ve got you thinking about the first step on your personal path to world domination, let’s take a look at some actual tech company names from right here on Utah’s Silicon Slopes to give you some ideas. Take our quiz and use the company’s real name to guess what the company actually does (in addition to selling your identity to Russian hackers).
GreenKrow
A) Something with Game of Thrones but friendly to the environment.
B) Dedicated to advancing the letter “K.”
C) Social media marketing or something.
D) Spelling and grammar check platform.
SirsiDynix
A) The first rule of SirsiDynix is: do not talk about SirsiDynix.
B) Building the Dewey Decimal system of the future!
C) Marketing or something.
D) A Lannister always pays his debts.
Geomni
A) Innovating domino technology for the 21st Century.
B) Marketing or something.
C) You are such a Gemini.
D) Geospatial intelligence. (Like you know what that is.)
MOZY
A) Muppet dating site.
B) Seriously, how long has it been since you did a backup?
C) Marketing or something.
D) Ultimate Frisbee player dating site.
Big Squid
A) Marketing or something.
B) A dating site for cephalopods.
C) Unleashing the Kraken.
D) Artificial intelligence working to speed the arrival of the singularity. All hail Skynet!
Voxpopme
A) Voight-Kampff-type testing to detect androids posing as humans.
B) For real, this is totally like the Voight-Kampff test from Blade Runner.
C) K-Pop fansite.
D) Marketing or something.
Gargle
A) Mouthwash but with Wi-Fi.
B) Marketing or something but with dentists.
C) Water reclamation projects.
D) Floss intervention.
Weave
A) The ancient art of weaving but with WiFi.
B) The Complete Business Toolbox™
C) Kiln and loom servicing.
D) Marketing or something.
Avalaunch
A) Explosives for avalanche control.
B) Marketing or something.
C) Trebuchets and catapults.
D) Rockets to the center of the Earth. We’re doing that right?
ANSWERS: GreenKrow (C); SirsiDynix (D); Geomni (D); MOZY (B); Big Squid, (D); Voxpopme (B); Gargle (B); Weave (B); Avalaunch (B)
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