So Much to Say, So Little Space: Bumper Stickers

The drivers of Park City would like you to know where they stand. The uncommonly high prevalence of bumper stickers in Utah, which take on a sort of hyper-local relevance in the context of what we’ll call an “insular” community, is certainly evidence of that. To be clear, this won’t delve into the overtly political, as I’d rather stick my bare hand into an actual hornet’s nest than stir up its metaphorical analog, but there’s still plenty of fodder for the petty, silly, earnest, aggrieved and elitist among us.   

My sincerest apologies if you have one of these bumper stickers adorning your vehicle and I’ve grossly missed the mark of your intentions, but bumper stickers are like Twitter in the wild so I’ve little to work with and if it doesn’t apply to you, as they say, “don’t @ me.” Remember, regardless of what your bumper sticker says, the left lane is for passing and turn signals are useful. 

See you on the road.

Utah Bumper Stickers

Often Seen on a White Range Rover

Seems to be saying: “I moved here during the pandemic and have since become extremely involved in local politics, notably by voicing opinions on behalf of my HOA regarding the community’s need for affordable housing as long as it’s not near the boundaries controlled by my HOA.”

Utah Bumper Stickers

Often seen on a rusty white hatchback next to a “No Bad Skiing Only Bad Skiers” sticker.   

Seems to be saying: “I do care that you ski at Alta.”

Often seen on a Ford F-250 Tremor towing a 29-foot-long fifth-wheel camper.

Seems to be saying: “Being self aware is my strong suit.” 

Often seen on a beige, sorry, “champagne” Acura SUV

Seems to be saying: “I feel rightfully accomplished by having gotten in shape, but I am unaware that I’m in a town composed by half former and aspiring Olympians and the other half by professional athletes.”

Utah Bumper Stickers

Often seen among other fly-fishing paraphernalia like a roof-mounted fly rod case on a lifted black Toyota Tacoma.

Seems to be saying: ”I spend a lot of time at Trout Bum 2 because I’m, like, a really big fly fisherman.” (It’s the Mountain West’s version of an “I’d rather be driving a Titleist” sticker.)

Utah Bumper Stickers

Often seen on a roof box atop an orange Subaru Crosstrek.

Seems to be saying: “I buy a lot of gear at the REI on 33rd and get warm feelings from a ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ throw pillow, but I’m just earnestly happy to spend my free time outdoors so quit being so jaded already.”

Utah Bumper Stickers

Often seen beneath a Utah license plate with a California dealer’s logo.

Seems to be saying: “I reminisce about the past, but no, I didn’t know there was a time before Vail owned PCMR. That was a thing?” 

Tony Gill
Tony Gill
Tony Gill is the outdoor and Park City editor for Salt Lake Magazine and previously toiled as editor-in-chief of Telemark Skier Magazine. Most of his time ignoring emails is spent aboard an under-geared single-speed on the trails above his home.

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